One in Particular
by OnlineFisher
Summary: Set in the future, Rimmer writes about Lister and himself, starts after 'only the good...' RimmerLister.
1. Default Chapter

Title: One in Particular Author: Fisher Email: Website: Disclaimer: Don't own Red dwarf... apart from the nifty Dvd's. I don't own the characters but if your offering one I could be persuaded to take Rimmer of your hands xD.  
Summary: Set in the future, Rimmer writes about Lister and himself, starts after 'only the good...' Rimmer/Lister.  
Authors Notes: Well this is something I've been working on for a while now... I have written a bit more and trust me it gets better (well I think so) I didn't know how Rimmer would write but I tried to get the conversations as close as possible... I'll just say that Rimmer's writing technique has changed over the years.  
Also Chris Barrie must be saluted for being the brilliant and talented actor he is... Anyone disagreeing will have to deal with me.  
:) Enjoy the story folks, Please remember to feedback... I Lurve feedback!  
  
One In Particular  
  
Everyone believed that a man named Arnold Judas Rimmer would live to be miserable. I have seen many versions of myself in my time, all different and yet none more annoying than that pompous twat 'Ace Rimmer' - Pratt! I can't fathom why I would ever want to be him. The hologram version of myself took over the job, I'm sure He had a defect.  
  
Anyway getting back to where I started. My mind isn't as sharp as it used to be... Dave usually makes a comment about it ever being sharp but luckily he isn't awake.  
  
Dave, The one constant thing in my life. If someone had told me I would eventually end up marring the sod I would have probably looked at them like they had just been passed by a giant rhino.  
I had started to change my opinion of him after he claimed the whole Red Dwarf crew had died. - He acted differently, I said I didn't notice but who was I kidding? After that it had set the whole thing in motion, He changed and so did I.  
  
It wasn't until he had rescued me from the burning Red Dwarf, creating another dimension jumping device thought up by the cat, This of course was not our stupid moggie.  
After being saved we grabbed a Starbug and well... It's all quite a bit of a blur really (I was In the Medi bay for a while).  
  
Dave said it was just like old times - given I wasn't there during the 'old times' I just nodded along with the rest of them not even bothering to make a snappy remark.  
It was about three weeks after we escaped I started to notice a difference, he would bug me more often (He claims now it was because he just wanted my attention, and who could blame him?)  
  
"What ya doing?" I remember rolling my eyes at this point. I was sat by myself in my room (as I now had my own room onboard this new Starbug) My book was open in front of me and he asks what I'm doing!  
  
"Doing dental surgery"  
  
"Wow, Didn't know you could do that"  
  
"I can't, bugger off!"  
  
"Aw come on I'm bored"  
  
"You're always bored!"  
  
"Not always"  
  
"Like a piece of card you're always board"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Just bog off!"  
  
I presume this was just to annoy me further but he then sat directly opposite me and proceeded to watch me - Loudly... How? Dave can find a way!  
I tried to ignore him but he can always tell when I'm angry, well it's not that hard when you have nostrils that flare every time someone pisses you off!  
  
"What?!"  
  
"I didn't say anything"  
  
"Why are you watching me?"  
  
"It's not like I've got anything better to do"  
  
"Why aren't you off chasing Kochanski?"  
  
He had just shrugged - so I was now interested. Marking my page and putting my book down (amazing I remember in this detail)  
  
"I thought you were in love with the woman?"  
  
"Humph"  
  
"Who are you and what have you done with Lister?!"  
  
"I don't know, I just grew up and grew out of that crush I guess, Besides she isn't the Kochanski I fell for"  
  
"Well I'm glad to hear it Listy, no more whining, good things do happen to me"  
  
"Shut up Rimmer"  
  
"It wasn't like you had much chance with her anyway was it?"  
  
"Hey! We went out!" And I picked up my book.. Suddenly bored with this conversation.  
  
"Besides I can't really chase her now I have eyes for someone else"  
  
Today this is a s clear as.... Air? But then I was oblivious. There he was staring at me telling me he had eyes for someone, a.k.a, me and I sit reading my book, a book, which I still can't remember, the name of.  
  
"See you later smeg head" I did notice something here as he got up and ruffled my hair - I had stared to think the man was drunk.... Well it wouldn't be the first time.  
  
"Jackass" I had said to myself as he left and I continued to read my book.  
  
It wasn't until much later when I found myself bored - I had finished the book. This is when I decided to go find Dave and find out what he was up to. It was a surprise at what I did find.  
  
"Lister, What are you doing?"  
  
"Finger painting"  
  
"Where did you find all that paint?!"  
  
"Just looking through all the draws"  
  
"What about all the paper?"  
  
"Same"  
  
"Oh"  
  
"Want a go?" Honestly I did but I didn't want him to know that.  
  
"No"  
  
"Come on it's fun!"  
  
"No"  
  
"Fine suit yourself"  
  
He went back to painting and I sat and watched. That was until he flicked some my way.  
A big yellow glob of paint slid down the side of my face.  
  
"You're in for it now matey!"  
  
Colours flying everywhere, Walls, Chairs, ourselves, nothing went untouched. It didn't take long for the floor to become very slippery and to state the obvious, I slipped, and brining down Dave with me in one gracious thud we landed on the floor, him crushing me. I thought at the time he would shout "Arg" and blot upright but he didn't he just stayed there put his hand in my hair and laughed.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Your hair is caked in it!"  
  
"It's not like yours isn't!"  
  
"Oh well"  
  
"Err, Lister, You going to get up?"  
  
"Oh"  
  
He did get up but before he did he grabbed a wad of paint from my hair and wiped it right across my face. Before I had chance to retaliate Kryten decided to check up on his 'Precious Mr. Lister'. He had complained about the mess and orderd us both to get cleaned up while he cleaned Dave's quarters. I would have protested but he was right, I really did need a shower.  
I won't go into much detail, as you don't need to know exactly what I do in the shower in great detail.  
I got clean and then dressed that's all you need to know.  
  
When I said dressed I meant into my pyjamas as I was quite tired and I went to bed.  
This was the first night I started to have what I called then, the nightmares. This first one was innocent enough. It replayed what had happened earlier on with me and Dave but this time he kissed me instead of wiping the paint across my face.  
After that I laid in bed unable to sleep.  
  
I will continue later, Dave is telling me to come back to bed.  
Toodle Pipski,  
Arnold. J. Rimmer 


	2. Let the questions begin

Authors Notes: For some reason it always looks better written down instead of typed up. This Fic is vague in places but I try. I bow down to any writer that takes the time write things in great detail... I have always found that hard, I would always get told off when I was at school for doing it. It's irritating during exams when you write two pages and someone else has filled all the pages and is asking for more I just sit there wanting to throw my pens at them.  
Hope you enjoy... I'm enjoying writing it!  
  
One In Particular  
  
Hello there again, Dave is off doing something very Manley - He's sewing. Actually it's quite nice of him really, I ripped a hole in my trousers the other day and he is 'attempting' to repair them for me, Really he is surprisingly good at it, I wouldn't be shocked if he's already finished and now off doing something else.  
  
I didn't clarify earlier did I? We are still stuck aboard Starbug. Kochanski eventually returned back to her own reality after a few years of being stuck with us. Kryten is still a jumped up mechaniod git and the Cat has found a mate - however shocking and vomit inducing it may be. He also has quite a cute little seven-year-old daughter named Kimi. Kimi is amazingly smart (given who her parents are). The Cat's mate is named Lanny although I like to call her Lanky, Obviously being care full not to call her it when she is in a bad mood... I have had a few large and heavy objects thrown at me over the years.  
We rescued Lanky a couple of years after Kochanski had left us; Kimi had come along three years later.  
  
Then there is Jake; He's now ten and the closet thing I have to a son. He was another version of myself son. The other Arnold had asked me to take care of him just before he died, at the time Jake was only two. He knows all about where he came from but he often jokes that I am his father and Dave' his mother - much to the annoyance of Dave.  
We are Teaching Jake to fly the ship, he has 'maybe' too much interest in engines and electronics - I can't count how many times he has pulled apart the Cats hair dryer - Trust me he wasn't pleased. Kryten is particularly freighted of the boy.  
  
I was trying to recall how Dave and me got together but as usual I'm rambling again.  
Getting back to where I left off, The next day after my dream I was trying to avoid Davey-boy.  
Living like we do it's difficult to avoid one and another, it makes it more difficult when he wants to see me. I had been successful most of the day until my boredom took over and I went to see what Kochanski was doing. She looked, as if she was writing something but to this day I still have know idea what. I hovered in the doorway.  
  
"Ms Kochanski?"  
  
"Hey Rimmer, Dave's looking for you"  
  
"He is?"  
  
"Yes, he just came here looking for you"  
  
"Ah, You busy?"  
  
"...Quite"  
  
"Oh then I'll go"  
  
"You can come in if you like I'm just finishing this off"  
  
"May I ask what?"  
  
"No, Sit down"  
  
So I sat opposite her watching as she wrote.  
  
"Are you avoiding Dave?"  
  
"No where'd you get that from?"  
  
"I was just wondering"  
  
"Why is he looking for me?"  
  
"He said he wanted your handprint"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"He asked for mine earlier, he only needs yours now"  
  
"There is something wrong with him"  
  
"I suspect he's just finding something to do"  
  
"What's he doing with them?"  
  
"Putting them on the walls of his room"  
  
As tempted I was to see this I couldn't face him at that point.  
  
"Are you going to find him?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Why? You're obviously bored"  
  
"I'm not that bored!"  
  
"Come on something's up"  
  
"Nothing's going on, what's wrong with me not wanting to see Lister; I don't even like the man"  
  
"That's a lie"  
  
"Shut up"  
  
"Fine whatever Rimmer, He likes you to you know"  
  
"Yea, sure I'm going"  
  
So I got up and left, not before hearing a muttered "Men". I returned to my quarters, unfortunately Dave was waiting for me, my table covered with various pots of brightly coloured paint and paper.  
  
"Hey! I was wondering where you'd got to"  
  
"I went to see Kochanski"  
  
"Ah must of just missed ya then"  
  
"What do you want Lister?"  
  
"What's up with you?"  
  
"I'm just not in the mood so would you kindly smeg off"  
  
"Fine, I'll go; all I want is your handprint"  
  
"If it will get you to leave"  
  
"It will, now give us your hand"  
  
Staring at him for a moment I stuck out my right, I know it was my right - he's still got the bloody picture, along with everyone else's, including the newer additions to our 'Crew'.  
He grabbed my hand and asked "Red, yellow, blue or orange?"  
  
"Blue"  
  
"Why blue?"  
  
"Just get on with it"  
  
"Yes Sir" giving me a mock salute.  
  
He covered my hand in blue paint and pressed it down on the paper. I remember thinking it was strange, I could have easily done that myself but I just watched as his hand pressed mine onto the paper. It wasn't long before he took the paper away.  
  
"Sign it...err, best wash your hand first"  
  
I just did as he said the dream still quite fresh in my mind. My thoughts jumbled, I was basically working on autopilot. Before I had realised what had happened he was saying "bye" and leaving. I muttered a "Bye" and he left me to my thoughts. To say I was confused at my own feelings was an understatement. Asking myself the question if Dave has feelings for me was barley even a question compared to my 'Do I like him?' Question.  
That night I had, had my second dream.  
  
I will leave it there and continue tomorrow, Right now I have something I need to attend to.  
  
Toodle Pipski.  
Arnold. J. Rimmer 


	3. Time

Disclaimer in part one.  
  
Authors Notes: Thank you all for reading and for the reviews. I am unsure of how Rimmer and Lister got together and I'm not sure of how to get there. If anyone has any Ideas I'd love to hear them. Hopefully you all can get my imagination up and running again!

* * *

****

****

**One In Particular**  
  
Good morning, Well I presume it's morning. This is the trouble with being in deep space you can never tell whether it's morning or night, except for your own body clock but even that gets thrown off from time to time.  
Another uneventful day has gone uneventfully by and slowly, so slowly you would rather be stuck behind the senile old woman in a shopping queue.  
  
Getting back to what happened after the paint incident:  
I woke up the next morning with a bang; this was me hitting the floor with a great thud. Apparently the dream I had, had caused me to propel myself from my bed and onto the floor. Unfortunately I am not a small or light man; the noise was quite spectacular. Dave was in my room at the time of the incident.  
  
He had just stared at me. At first I didn't notice he was there as my eyes were closed in pain. When I did notice him he was stood over me with a 'What the smeg?!' look. I hadn't known what to say - I had, had the wind literally knocked out of me.  
  
"Nice fall?" He asked whilst grinning - I hated him then.  
  
"Smeg off"  
  
"What? Get up on the wrong side of the bed?"  
  
"I only have one side you gimp"  
  
"Still, bet you wish you hadn't"  
  
"No because then that would have made you right, which you're not"  
  
"You're grumpy this morning"  
  
"So would you if you woke up like I did and then had to see your ugly face"  
  
"What's wrong with my face?"  
  
"How much time you got?"  
  
"Quite a lot actually"  
  
"Shut up... Wait a sec, what are you doing in my room anyway?"  
  
"Ah, well I was just" He looked around "Err looking for a book"  
  
"A book?"  
  
"Yea, I was bored, thought I'd read summat"  
  
"You want to read one of my books?"  
  
"Yea, why not?"  
  
"Firstly Lister they are my books, Secondly, you don't even like my books!"  
  
"I wanted something to help me sleep"  
  
"It's nine A.M!"  
  
"Hey, Early to bed, early to rise isn't that what you're always saying?"  
  
"Not at nine A.M!"  
  
"Ok Rimmer, want the truth? I was watching you sleep, happy?!"  
  
"Fine if you want one that badly, just take one!"  
  
"It doesn't matter I'll just go"  
  
As he moved to leave I had the urge to stop him but I didn't know what to say, the only thing that I could come up with was.  
  
"Lister?" He paused near the door and turned to look at me "I... Have a nice sleep"  
  
He made a little wave and with that he left, we didn't see each other for the rest of the day.  
I heard from the Cat that he was helping Kryten with the laundry. That was the most useful information I got from the Cat all day - actually, ever.  
  
I had spent some of the day in the cockpit, there wasn't much I could do besides sit there and look bored.  
I had decided after that to organise my telegraph pole collection by size instead of mass, it was the forth or fifth change I had made that particular week. I have probably organised everything I own in every imaginable way possible you could organise something. Organising everything by weight was difficult; I had earned myself a nice slap from Miss Kochanski for that attempt.  
I don't usually organise my things anymore; usually I only do it now when anxious or irritated. I have always found it a good way to take my mind of something.  
  
As I hadn't seen Dave that day it was a good time for me to sort out my feelings.  
Naturally I was confused; I had never been interested in men before and quite frankly since. It was only this man in particular. I knew I wasn't gay - I liked women and I didn't like men... someone had once told me that 'it doesn't matter who or what, when you fall in love, you fall in love' Still I didn't like the idea that I could be attracted to another man. I had been brought up with the idea that gay people were abnormal and deviants. I could never understand my parent's prejustice, I remember once getting beaten up by my brothers for once disagreeing with their ridiculous slander. They had called me 'Queer' and 'fag' once my parents had found out, my father had given me another beating.  
From then on I had to agree with them no matter how awkward and ashamed it had made me feel.  
  
Being on a star ship millions of miles from them did give me a lot more freedom, even though no one had liked me it was still heaven compared to being within speaking range of my family.  
  
When I had gotten Dave as a room mate it was incredibly strange, I couldn't believe he would willingly talk to me. My last four roommates would only make comments about me to their friends and only talk to me when absolutely necessary. Dave on the other hand would often strike up a conversation.  
Most of the time we would end up fighting but I finally felt like I could talk to someone with out hearing 'Shut up' as soon as I opened my mouth.  
  
Of course I knew he didn't like me all that much and I often would make stupid comments to him just so I could get him to talk to me, I've never had the skill that Dave has to just go up and talk to someone.  
  
Trying to figure out my feelings wasn't an easy task, there were so many conflicting emotions that I couldn't make sense of. It wasn't just what I was feeling for Dave; my own demons were coming into play as well. I had doubted my own self worth (not for the first time). It had taken me all day and I hadn't made much progress but I had known one thing for certain. If he had 'asked me out' I wouldn't have said no.  
  
Toodle Pipski,

Arnold. J. Rimmer


	4. I try but don't succed

Authors Notes: Again thank you for the reviews and I must apologise for taking so long with this... this chapter was written a while ago and I think it's rubbish personally but you can judge anyway you like. The next part starts to change the story quite a bit... I couldn't think of any good way of how to get R & L together so in the next chapters you will find out where my weird brain decided to go with this!  
  
Last but by no means least... Don't worry about this taking forever to be updated! I have already completed the story a while ago I am now just trying to get it all typed up so all you lovely people can read it.  
  
So read on my friends and for get not to review! It's just like tipping a waiter at the end of you meal but with words rather than money... trust me it's much cheaper xD

* * *

**One in particular**  
  
Of course after my realization I had not wanted to see Dave. After about a week I guessed he had started to suspect something, mainly as one morning he asked:  
  
"Ok Rimmer, What's up?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're avoiding me"  
  
"And that's an unusual thing?"  
  
"Come on man, You've been acting weird lately"  
  
"I have not"  
  
"Rimmer..."  
  
I decided not to respond and just lie facing the wall on my bed. I knew he was right but what could I have said? Even now I'm not sure what I could have said.  
I had lain there for at least twenty minutes before I heard a sneeze. I had quickly turned; the noised startled me from my thoughts.  
  
"I thought you left"  
  
"Did you hear me leave?"  
  
"No... What are you still doing here?"  
  
"You never answered my question"  
  
"What question?"  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"Nothing! There, you have your answer, now go!"  
  
"Have I done something?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Then why are you avoiding me?"  
  
"I just don't want to see you"  
  
"There must be a reason"  
  
"Lister, I don't have to explain everything to you"  
  
He stood and he stared at me, I lay there looking at him while he stared at me... It was all very strange and confusing.  
I'm not sure how long we stayed like that but eventually he seemed to realize he was staring and shook his head as if to clear his head, this had cause my gaze to drift downward so I was now looking at the slightly grubby hard floor, I remember making a mental note to clean it.  
  
"Rimmer?" Dave had asked, I had once again forgotten he was stood there, to busy in my thought of what floor-cleaning product I could use.  
  
"What?"  
  
"If I did something to upset you I'm sorry ok?"  
  
"You didn't do anything"  
  
"Well what ever is making you act like this you can talk to me if you want you know?"  
  
"No, I can't"  
  
"Well if you need me I'm here"  
  
He left with that and I couldn't help think this seemed quite out of character for him but then again he had been acting differently so it shouldn't have surprised me, Dave can be really nice when he wants to be... 


	5. Smegging Rocks!

**One In Particular**  
  
I think he must have realized I didn't want to see him after that as we didn't see each other for a few days, well that isn't strictly true. We saw each other in passing and during lunch but we never once spoke in those few days. I found it so lonely during those few days. The rest of the crew barley spoke to me as usual. I felt like I was the only one onboard Starbug, I have felt that feeling of being alone when I am surrounded by others many times in my life so it was nothing new but this time it felt different it had felt like I had lost something.  
  
It wasn't that long before we had started to talk again. After five days of silence - on my part anyway - Kryten found some weird readings coming from a planetoid.  
  
It had taken us roughly an hour but we settled down onto the planet surface with the Cat's usual smooth landing.  
We all made our way from Starbug to the surface together with Kryten trying to warn us all about the possible dangers and only Miss Kochanski actually listening to him.  
As soon as I stepped onto the desolate land I had known something was amiss, I had a deep sense of foreboding, I knew something was going to go wrong. Dave on the other hand had looked ecstatic,  
He was glad to finally get off, of Starbug for a while.  
  
We had wandered for about twenty minutes before coming across some kind of alter - Kryten had tried to translate some of the text written on it but to no avail, all he had seemed to translate was the word 'Memories'.  
At this point my paranoia had gotten the better of me and I decided I wanted to head back.  
Surprisingly the Cat and Miss Kochanski agreed with me, they stated there was nothing here of importance and we should head back.  
Dave being Dave protested.  
  
"But we don't even know what this thing does yet!"  
  
"Who cares Listy, it's a smegging rock"  
  
"I care; I want to know what it is!"  
  
"You know I hate to agree with ol' goalpost head but he's right bud"  
  
"It does look as if we are out numbered Sir; maybe we should head back"  
  
"But.... What about that?"  
  
"What?" All of us thought this question but only Miss Kochanski thought to ask.  
  
"That square thingy on top"  
  
"You mean this?" And I grabbed hold of the weird sand coloured cube that was placed on top of the small altar.  
  
"It's a smegging..." I had suddenly felt dizzy. I felt someone grab hold of me from behind and everything went white.

* * *

Now before you all complain about this chapter of lack of chapter... I promise the next part will be longer! Unless I decide to split it into two parts... I have about eight written pages I now need to type up... ok Jules bring on the coffee... this may take a while... scratch that, I don't like coffee... bring the on the water - Bad idea will need to pee... just bring me anything, what? You quit? Fine!... new help needed! Will pay nothing per hour, opportunity of a lifetime.... Damn what am I on about!? Who slipped me something? Jules? 


	6. 1 is definitive, 2 is not

****

One in particular

I remember I couldn't see a thing except pure white light. I could hear a voice repeating to me "Past, present, future... only one you must choose" As quickly as it began the light disappeared and I found myself standing in a field surrounded by cheering parents and noisy children. I couldn't believe it, I still can't. It was the day I won my first trophy.

I felt someone touch my shoulder and I span to come face to face with one Dave Lister.

"What are you doing here?"

"Light surrounded you.... I tried to pull you out of it"

"Great so now were both stuck"

"Where are we?"

"My School"

"What?! How?!"

"How the hell should I know?!"

He looked around then looked back towards me.

"I don't think anyone can see us"

"Why?"

"Don't ya' think we stand out just a little bit?"

I looked around and waved at someone who was looking directly at me... he did nothing which either meant he couldn't see me or he was incredibly rude, I decided on the former.

"I think you're right"

"So... which one's you?"

"What?"

"Those children, which one's you?"

"Erm" I took a quick look around "The one by that group, the one standing just to the left, by myself"

"Ah ya, I see you, how old are you there?"

"Eight"

"Wow, who knew you were such a cute kid"

I didn't reply, they were lining my younger self and the others in my class up for the hundred-meter race. I couldn't do anything but watch. Our teacher, Mr. Macintosh shouted for them to go and they all ran, competing to see who would come first. It didn't take long for it to become clear who was going to win and as soon as it was over I waited for inevitable surprised voice behind me,. I didn't have to wait long.

"You came second?!"

"So?"

"How have you not bragged about that?"

"Lister its just a stupid race"

"Still, I can't believe you've never mentioned that"

"It's not important, shouldn't we be figuring out how we can get out of here?"

"I think we should follow little Rimmer over there"

"What good will that do?"

"Well Kryten said it's got something to do with memories, the best chance is to follow you"

"I've known you too long, that logic made sense"

He grinned and started to make his way to the younger version of myself. I wasn't sure I wanted him to see my past. I didn't know what he would think.

We followed Arnold as he got his trophy from Mrs. Good Enough.

"You actually have a trophy?"

"no"

"Well it looks pretty much like you do"

"I got rid of it"

"why?"

"It's just a stupid trophy"

"Ok, ok, so these your parents?"

"yes"

"And your brothers?"

"Yes, my parents came down on this weekend to see our sports day... we were to go out and win"

"No pressure or anything"

As we got close enough Dave became quiet and started watching what was going on.

My brothers were all showing my mother and father their many medals and trophies they had won this evening. My father smiled, the smile I have never seen him direct at me and told John, frank and Howard:

" Well done, I'll put these all on our trophy shelf when we get home, the Geldmens are coming over tomorrow, I'll make sure they see them"

After that John and Frank's class were being called back in and Howard was being called over by his friend Jamie. That left me. I remember being so proud when I received that award, I couldn't believe it, My first trophy. I was so pleased, I couldn't wait to show it to my father but as usual getting your hopes up was a bad Idea.

"Look father" Arnold shouted enthusiastically as he lifted the trophy up to show his father. My father took it, looked at it and said "Second place" and gave it strait back to the young me.

"I think your teacher is calling you" My mother stated.

Arnold looked down at the trophy he held in his small hands and said "Oh...yes" and ran to go join his group.

"Your fathers a git" I heard Dave say but I wasn't really paying attention, I was remembering what Arnold was going through right now. I remembered throwing the trophy in the bin, second place wasn't good enough - from then on I have always hated the word. This is of course why I had to be a second technician, just so I would get a constant reminder of what I am and always will be - Second.

* * *

One quick mention - of no importance to you but what the hell... Mrs Good enough is actually someone I met. I remember her because I had watched a Frasier episode where Frasier met Ms. Right and meeting Mrs. Good Enough just made me laugh.

Wasn't a good time to laugh, she was a customer at work and It was probably a bad idea to start laughing at her... :P

One thing I do remember about her she looked an awful lot like Will self!


	7. Question Time

The plot has changed somewhat, I noticed :P

It feels like I have written two different stories and meshed them together into one polluted stream of consciousness... Hopefully it works.

I started off writing more of a light, slight humour POV Fic but as I went on I felt the need to write some angst and seeing as it is my story I thought I'd try it :P

Oh well, Enjoy!

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One in Particular

It was happening again. Everything was white. I could hear the same phrase I heard the time before. I had hoped to god or anything that resembled god to let this all be over but I am and wasn't that lucky.

I quickly became aware that we were stood in my parent's dining room. John and Frank sat at the table with my mother and father whilst Howard stood in front of my father - It was question time.

"What's going on man" Came the expected question from the man behind me.

"It's our dinnertime"

At this point it was when Arnold came running into the room, apologizing for being late and out of breath. My father had just glared at him so Arnold stood behind Howard awaiting his question.

"Howard, what defines a galaxy?"

Howard grinned, he knew this one. He grinned the grin that all of my brothers grinned when they knew the question being asked. Most of the time they would give the correct answer and this question was relatively easy compared to some of the questions my father asked. I couldn't see him with his book so I assumed then he was asking some of the very few he actually knew himself.

"Basically Father, Galaxies are the fundamental units of structure in the universe where stars form"

"Fair enough, you may sit, Arnold... Explain Einstein's theory of relativity"

Dave looked at me "you're stuffed man" I glared at him but I remember seeing the sympathetic look he gave me and I just sighed. He was right 'I WAS Stuffed' I never knew what that damned theory was, I still don't! And frankly I couldn't care less about what theory Einstein came up with about relativity that everyone finds so important that they need to mention it constantly. But this is now and that was then. I was a ten-year-old, standing in front of my father's cold glare and indeed himself, being asked that question and it was terrifying.

"Well father... the theory of relativity... the theory thought up by Einstein, his theory that led to the question, what is relativity..."

"Arnold?" My father interjected

"Yes Father?

"You don't know do you?"

"No Sir"

"Arnold?"

"Yes Sir?"

"Don't you think you should be going to bed?"

"Yes Sir"

With that the young Arnold looked to the floor and made his way towards the door.

"That's discustin'"

"That was my father"

"From what you told me, I could never believe it, you always said it was bad but..."

"You think this is bad?!"

"It gets worse?!"

"This is just a normal day... actually we're about one head down the toilet away from a normal day"

And then everything went white once more. When it stopped we were in the hallway outside my old room. My father was pounding on the door, Shouting at me to come out. I remember that day like it happened yesterday.

I remember the noise. I remember the pain. I remember waking up. I remember being surrounded by white, Those few days I spent in the hospital were some of the best of my life. Unfortunately I wasn't witnessing those days of bliss; I was witnessing the day that lead to them. I didn't want to watch. I sat by the wall and put my head in my hands.

Dave crouched down next to me to see what was wrong.

"What's up man?"

"This is a nightmare, Why am I going through this again?" I said more to myself than Dave.

"I don't know man.... Why is he shouting at you?"

"I've just called him a bastard and locked myself in my room"

Just then my father had knocked down the door and we could hear the screams coming from the room. Dave got up to see what was going on.

"You don't want to look" I informed him but I was too late he was staring in what I could only assume was shock at what he was witnessing going on in my old room.

I had blamed myself for that evening. If I had tried harder I would never have come home to his disappointment, to his shame. I would have never gotten angry and shouted at him. I would have never called him and ran. He wouldn't have chased me up the stairs and broke down my door. It was my fault it happened. For a long time I believed that. Even as I grew older and I knew in my mind it wasn't my fault. I shouldn't be to blame; I never believed it in my heart.

How could I not blame myself for my father's disappointment? My brothers got his approval so why couldn't I? So I blamed my self for his anger. I was thirteen, seeking my father's affection. He wasn't in the wrong, It was I.

I tried to drown out the screams but to no avail, hearing the young Arnold plead with his father brought back the vivid memories of that evening. I was so wrapped up in those memories it took me a while to realized Dave was hugging me.

"Calm down Rimmer" By that point I had realized I had a tight grip on my hair and was quite franticly rocking back and forth. I couldn't see anything as my eyes were quite painfully shut. Dave grabbed my hands and told me to let go. When I did he sat in front of me, holding my hands and told me to look at him. I barley noticed anything, it was so bright. By the time I looked at him my surroundings had changed.

Dave was still looking at me with concern. He stood and I followed him. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me 'No matter what, I'm here' I had felt like I wasn't truly there. It was like I was watching myself as well as my younger self; it was a strange feeling.

Then he disappeared. I was left alone. I couldn't understand why he had just vanished. One moment he was stood in front of me and the next he was gone. I was alone. Left watching the day when I got emancipated, But I didn't care. He had left me. He had left me once again and I was left to myself and to my memories with no hope of escape. I thought that would be all I would ever have, Just Me, Me and my memories.

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I hope you liked it enough to review... or just review anyway...

I tried to go for a bit of angst, not sure t worked, I'm not great at it. I'm to used to doing humour and I find it difficult to do serious stuff so any criticisms or encouragements are welcome.

Thanks for your time.

Toodles!


	8. 'The End'

**One In Particular**

Everything had gone black but I didn't notice it was different until I looked up to see Kryten and Dave looking down at me.

"Kryten figured it out, we're back!"

"Yes it was quite simple really..."

But I never got to find out how he did it or how simply he did it because I got up and hurriedly made my way towards my room. I had just wanted to forget everything.

Walking down the corridor my mind a blur but still focused on one thing. I didn't take a blind bit of notice to where I was going; I am amazed I even reached my quarters. Even when I reached my room it didn't occur to me how I got there, as long as I was there it didn't really matter.

When I approached my quarters I heard the hurried foot steps behind me and it wasn't until I was walking through the doors did I hear the out of breath David Lister say "wait up Rimmer"

I ignored him and carried on into the room. The only problem now I was here, I was trapped. He stood behind me, I couldn't see him but I knew he was, his heavy breathing gave him away.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Why am I getting the cold treatment then?"

And I whipped my body round to face him, Suddenly angry.

"Why do you pretend Lister? You don't care!"

"I do"

"No you don't, I thought you did but you don't, no-one does!" He tried to reach out to me but I backed up, Not sure what I would do if he touched me... I would either hit him or break down crying, Either way I didn't want it to happen.

"I do care"

"You left me, you said you wouldn't!"

"It wasn't as if I had a choice!"

"But you said..."

"I never left you; I stood by you while Kryten brought you back"

"Sure"

That's when I noticed the change in his demeanour, He could tell he wasn't going to get through to me.

"Rimmer I don't get where all this anger is coming from!"

"You wouldn't"

"I would if you'd tell me!"

"Just shut up Lister!"

"No! I want to know why?!"

"Shut up!"

"Just tell me!!"

"Shut up!!!" And with that I grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him roughly towards me. Crushing my lips to his and kissing him hard. He never had time to react because I pushed him away and he stared at me. I couldn't look away; I was in shock, shock at what I had just done. I was searching his face trying to find any indication into what he felt, All I could see was confusion.

"What?" He'd asked. I didn't know how to answer him; I had no idea how to explain what had just happened. I just wanted to hide, from him, from myself. I didn't want to face him; I didn't want to make it worse.

"Go away Lister"

"You expect me to leave now!?" He did have a point, I'm sure if it was the other way around I would want an explanation, But it wasn't the other way around and I needed to get rid of him.

"Yes, Bye bye!"

"Rimmer! You can't expect to kiss me then make me leave"

"I don't want to talk about it"

"I don't care what you want!"

"Just leave!" I shouted, by this time he was mere inches from me and got full force of my words.

Instead of screaming back in my face he grabbed the back of my head and pulled my mouth to his. I didn't want to react but his insistent mouth on mine forced me to behave otherwise. As time went on the kiss became less force full and he eventually pulled away. We were both breathing heavily and he looked into my eyes.

I wasn't in the most comfortable position. His hand behind my neck forcing me to bend down towards him.

"I do care Rimmer, Don't doubt that. The question is, how much do you want me to care?"

"This much" And I kissed him again.

From that day we started our strange relationship. We've had our ups and downs, many fights but that's another story.

He may not have been who I imagined I would end up with but I was happy and in the end isn't that really all that matters?

I can only hope the other Arnold Judas Rimmer's out there feel how I feel. The past, present or the future? - I chose Dave Lister and I choose the present. No longer do I have to live in the past with my failures. Right now is all that matters. Right now this Arnold in particular is completely satisfied.

Toodle Pipski.

Arnold. J. Rimmer.

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Hope you liked, This probably is my first attempt at some proper romance and it cough kind of shows.

Ah well, I can only get better (damn I just got the song, Things can only get better in my head)

The more you write the more you improve.

The ironic thing was when I was getting taught English at school I was terrible at it and since leaving I got better.

Anywho, Please review, constructive criticism or telling me that I'm a god... either one welcome :)


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